Three secrets that your teenager will likely never admit to

Teenagers are known for keeping their thoughts to themselves and asserting their independence.  This is all a normal part of the development process but it can often leave parents questioning what is really going on inside their heads. While they are busy pushing boundaries and finding their way it can feel like they lack empathy, are a little self-centred and don’t want you in their space. But this is not necessarily the case for most. I will let you in on a few secrets about what they are really thinking but may never admit too.

Secret number one:

They worry about you just as much as you worry about them. Maybe it is hard to believe but they really do. They know you very well and can sense when things are not okay with you.  They can quickly pick up on your moods and can tell when things are not going great for you.  Even though they are teenagers you are still the person they look to for a sense of safety and reassurance. Therefore, when they see you stressed or anxious they get worried too.

Secret number two:

They want you close by just in case they need you. They may not want to hang out and chat with you at great length but knowing that you are close by just in case they need you creates a sense of safety for them.  They love knowing that you are there for them no matter what.

Secret number three:

They admire you and look up to you. They actually think you are amazing. They love the things you do, like your silly jokes or when you cook their favourite meal.  They love those little things you do each day for them and how you make them feel special.  They watch you overcome challenges, they admire your strength and determination to keep going.  They appreciate how hard you work to support them and they hope that one day they can be just like you.

Hang in there on those tough days and remember that underneath what might feel like a cold exterior is still that little kid who loves you more than anything, thinks you are a hero, needs you just as much and wants you close by.

Best wishes always,

Lena x

About the Author

The Founder of The Resilience Revolution, Lena Redman is a registered teacher and school guidance counsellor.

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